So much to catch up on! I am now relatively settled into my new home, and am having a house warming party this Thursday. I have two kittens, who are adorable, but I currently want to throttle them because they have a very bad habit of pooping on the carpet in the basement. My mind has been a whirlwind of trying to figure out how I’m going to stop this, while feeling bad that they’re now locked in the bathroom, while worrying about my sis and her husband coming to stay and having to use said smelly bathroom, while worrying about how I’m going to make the house look “perfect” in time for Thursday’s party.
Yikes. That’s a lot of weight on my shoulders. And the silly thing is, none of it is necessary weight. I read the following paragraph from a story in the AA Big Book this a.m.:
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation for being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism [compulsive overeating/perfectionism], I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
Now, even if you want to strike the words “in God’s world” depending on your spiritual beliefs, this paragraph makes a whole lotta sense to me. It’s such a good reminder that I can’t worry myself into having two perfectly behaved cats. No amount of frustration will fix this, and unless I’m willing to give them back to the shelter, I better just do my best to follow suggestions from the internet research I’ve done on how to solve the problem.
This is a small scale example, but it easily applies to the layoffs at work, the fact that my best friend from high school just got engaged even though I’m still completely single, and my other friend from high school who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer at 28. Oh, and of course, my body image that tells me I should have lost 60 lbs yesterday…